Friday, March 13, 2009

Role model of the day


Travis Henry loves the children.

In this crazy mixed up world we live in, I thank my lucky stars for people like Travis Henry, who show our impressionable youth how to live their lives by truly leading by example.

Mr. Henry is a bonafide master of sexual education, as he reportedly has 9 different children with 9 different women. In the wise words of the Sugar Hill Gang, "I can bust you out with my super sperm." Super indeed.

However, now Travis Henry is in a bit of a financial squeeze, to the point that some might characterize him as being broke as a joke. You might be asking yourself how a man who played professional football as recently as 2007 and has such powerful semen could be broke, but then one sees his $170,000 a year tab in child support, and you will have your answer.

To help make ends meet, Henry was trafficking a little cocaine on the side, and the government had the balls to arrest him and place him under house arrest, which is bullshit if you ask me. Whats a little coke trafficking if its for the kids?

So, to summarize, Mr. Henry clearly doesn't like to wear a raincoat in the shower, but lets be honest, who among us does? And if it results in having enough kids to literally start his own baseball team, so be it. Going above and beyond to generate some extra income is always admirable and shows not only initiative, but an incredible sense of business acumen. For his determination, iniative, and super sperm, I am proud to salute Travis Henry as our inaugural Role Model of the Day. Mazel Tov, Travis.


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