Friday, June 26, 2009

Ship's ahoy motherfuckers

Are you one of those people who wakes up in the morning and says, "Goddamn, I am so sick of these fucking Somalian pirates. I wish I could shoot grenades and machine guns at them"? Well guess what? Now you can man up and put your money where your mouth is.

Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed private yachts off the Somali coast.

Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders.

When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.

Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.

Nothing says badass like heading out on a Russian ocean liner, cruising to the Somalian coast to intentionally piss off modern-day pirates, and then shoot at them with a barrage of rockets, grenades, and machine guns. The only other place you could ever use a grenade or rocket launcher that I know if is in Goldeneye for Nintendo 64. Imagine if they offered a golden gun or the RC-P90 to shoot these pirates? I would jizz myself quicker than a 14-year old getting a lap dance in mesh shorts.

Seriously, if this isn't the coolest fucking vacation you could ever go on, I don't know what is. Maybe going to space to ring and run an alien's house? Actually that's not even close. Somalian pirate hunting missions sounds like something the Dos Equis guy would do. And I want in on the action.

kind of retarded that you can actually pay to go out and blow people away with a grenade or rocket launcher, but i guess if its a somalian pirate nobody is going to complain. PETA might, because they seem to bitch about everything, but whatever, i'd pay to shoot grenades at them too


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