Warning: dead baby jokes

"DEAD" BABY WAKES UP FOR HIS FUNERAL WAKE
This is pretty fucked up. A baby was born 16 weeks prematurely and was declared dead by doctors. In retrospect, these doctors must be pretty fucking awful, because the baby was still alive. As 1 family member said:

I opened the box and took the baby out and he cried. I got scared and I said 'the baby's crying' ... and then he started moving his arms, his legs and I got scared, we got very scared.

I don't really have anything to say about this, but it seems like a great time to share some dead baby jokes. Because if you're reading this website, chances are you probably like dead baby jokes too.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
When you jump on a trampoline, you take your shoes off.

How do you stop a baby from crawling round in circles?
Nail its other hand to the floor.

How do you stop a baby from falling down a manhole?
Stick a javelin through it's head.

Why did the baby fall out of a tree?
Because it was dead!

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of dead babies?
You can't unload a truck full of bowling balls with a pitchfork.

What do you get a dead baby for his birthday?
A dead puppy.

What's the difference between a baby and a grandmother?
Grandmothers don't die when you fuck them up the ass.
(my personal favorite)

What's the difference between a Cadillac and a pile of dead babies?
I don't have a Cadillac in my garage.

What's worse than finding 7 dead babies in 1 trash can?
Finding 1 dead baby in 7 trash cans.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup?
A dead baby doesn't hurt the o-zone when you burn it.

What's pink and red and silver and crawls into walls?
A baby with forks in its eyes.

What's red, bubbly, and scratches at the window before exploding?
A baby in a microwave.

What do you get when you cut a baby with a straight razor?
An erection.

What's the difference between a dead baby and an onion.
You don't cry when you chop up a dead baby.

What do you get when you put a dead baby in a blender?
Hold on. I'll tell you in a second.

VERDICT:
i just copy and paste them. you're the one reading you fucking retarded sickos