And the nominees for 2009 mom of the year are...

POLICE: MOM ATTACKS OWN KIDS OVER PORK CHOP
How does the saying go? Spare the rod and spoil the child? Well you know what happens when you spare the rod too often and spoil the child one too many times? You get your fucking pork chops stolen right out from under you. And by your own flesh and blood no less.

Chavonna Gough of Sacramento learned this lesson the hard way. When her two teenage kids, ages 19 and 16, ate the last pork chop at dinner, Ms. Gough said fuck the rod, punched 1 kid square in the face, and chased them both out of the house with a knife. Now the police have the nerve to charge her with felony child abuse and place the 16-year old in protective custody.

Ummm hello officers, but what about the charges for Grand Theft Pork Chop? Everyone knows you can't just take the last pork chop and expect to get away with it. This case could be a black eye on the Sacramento legal system for years to come.

As Chris Rock said, the big piece of chicken is for daddy. And if daddy isn't around, and mommy looks like a Michael Vick dog, then she gets the last pork chop. Done and done.

VERDICT:
grand theft pork chop...oh man i crack myself up