Showing posts with label the wire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label the wire. Show all posts

Friday, September 25, 2009

Mystery of the urinal deuce

VIRGINIA POLICE SEEK URINAL VANDAL
Who is this guy?
A) an extra from The Wire
B) Plaxico's new roommate
C) the guy - sorry, the suspect - who vandalized urinals in 7 different restaurants, then pretended to be a plumber so the restaurants would pay him to fix the urinals

If you answered C, then you obviously cheated and read about this story already. Shame on you. But double shame on Carlos O'Kelly's, the 1 restaurant that actually paid this dude between $250-$300 to fix the urinal HE broke in the first place.

Listen, I've taken plenty of pisses in urinals in my day. And if I had a dollar for every time I've been shitfaced in a crowded bar and puked in a urinal, I'd have at least 10 or 12 bucks by now. So, my question is, how the fuck can you vandalize something that people use to puke and piss in on a regular basis? Sounds a little like the legendary Mystery of the Urinal Deuce if you ask me.

Either way, you've got to really fuck up a urinal to be wanted by police. Maybe more urinals should look like these.

VERDICT:
more like carlos o'retards. or retard o'kelly's. whatever

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Thursday, June 18, 2009

Lord of the flies, and the entire universe

Reason #843 why Barack Obama is the man: Ninja reflexes.



Now, I'm not very political, and thats not the point of this site at all. If something in the news doesn't concern my fantasy baseball team or some sweet titties, I'm probably not interested. And yea, I voted for Obama, but it was mostly because he plays basketball and watches The Wire. But regardless of who you voted for, you can't deny that Obama is the fucking man. He's our generation's Frank Sinatra or Fonzie.

A while ago I asked a friend of mine, who's both a big golfer and a big pot smoker, if he would rather golf 18 holes with Tiger Woods, or smoke a joint with Barack. He answered smoking with Barack quicker than the man, the myth, the legend himself swatted that fly.

It should also be noted that if George Bush ever tried to pull this off, he probably would've slapped a baby or poked his own eyeball out.

O-BAM-A!! O-BAM-A!!

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