Ship's ahoy motherfuckers

LUXURY YACHTS OFFER PIRATE HUNTING CRUISES
Are you one of those people who wakes up in the morning and says, "Goddamn, I am so sick of these fucking Somalian pirates. I wish I could shoot grenades and machine guns at them"? Well guess what? Now you can man up and put your money where your mouth is.

Luxury ocean liners in Russia are offering pirate hunting cruises aboard armed private yachts off the Somali coast.

Wealthy punters pay £3,500 per day to patrol the most dangerous waters in the world hoping to be attacked by raiders.

When attacked, they retaliate with grenade launchers, machine guns and rocket launchers, reports Austrian business paper Wirtschaftsblatt.

Passengers, who can pay an extra £5 a day for an AK-47 machine gun and £7 for 100 rounds of ammo, are also protected by a squad of ex special forces troops.

Nothing says badass like heading out on a Russian ocean liner, cruising to the Somalian coast to intentionally piss off modern-day pirates, and then shoot at them with a barrage of rockets, grenades, and machine guns. The only other place you could ever use a grenade or rocket launcher that I know if is in Goldeneye for Nintendo 64. Imagine if they offered a golden gun or the RC-P90 to shoot these pirates? I would jizz myself quicker than a 14-year old getting a lap dance in mesh shorts.

Seriously, if this isn't the coolest fucking vacation you could ever go on, I don't know what is. Maybe going to space to ring and run an alien's house? Actually that's not even close. Somalian pirate hunting missions sounds like something the Dos Equis guy would do. And I want in on the action.

VERDICT:
kind of retarded that you can actually pay to go out and blow people away with a grenade or rocket launcher, but i guess if its a somalian pirate nobody is going to complain. PETA might, because they seem to bitch about everything, but whatever, i'd pay to shoot grenades at them too

Read more...

Aaaarrrgghhhh

SOMALI PIRATES MAKE OFF WITH $3.2 MILLION RANSOM

So apparently pirates from Somali have been cruising the oceans lately, which naturally begs the question....pirates? Really? Fucking pirates?

Apparently pirates have been running shit off the coast of Somalia since their civil war in the early 1990s, at least that is what Wikipedia says and who am I to not trust Wikipedia? Nobody thats who. Maybe I just haven't been paying attention but has anyone out there heard a thing about real pirates until the past few months? This is shocking to me. Fucking pirates?

These fuckers are holding people hostage, getting millions of dollars dropped to them from airplanes as ransoms, and according to this article, "they wed the most beautiful girls; they are building big houses; they have new cars; new guns." What the fuck!? Pirates are ballin! Where do you sign up for this shit? Forget this horseshit PR stunt, it sounds like being a Somalian pirate is the best job ever.

That article also said this: "Pirate spokesman Sugule Ali told the BBC Somali Service at the time: 'Everybody is happy. We were firing guns to celebrate Eid.'" I dont know what the hell Eid is, but how do you become a Pirate spokesman? Thats the sweetest job title I've ever heard.

VERDICT:
whats next? witches and vampires?

Read more...