Right in the babymaker

MINNESOTA MAN GETS LIFE IN PUNCHING DEATH OF FETUS

"I'm gonna punch you in the ovary, that's what I'm gonna do. A straight shot. Right to the babymaker."

Dameon Gatson paid his friend $40 to punch his girlfriend in her stomach when she was 6-months pregnant. Surprise surprise the baby was born premature and died a few days later. Now Gatson is going to jail for life with no parole. Damn homie.

Now I could sit here and make some horribly offensive homemade smashmortion jokes. Like instead of a punch he could've just pushed her down the fire escape. Or scooped her stomach like a jack-o-lantern. But I'm going to take the high road here. Because as the days fade to months and the months give way to the changing of each season, I find myself more mature and sensitive to the feelings of others. And because I also want to know what the hell happened to the kid who actually punched this chick?

If you ask me, the kid who punches a fetus in the fucking face for $40 is way crazier and more dangerous than the asshole who actually pays the $40. Am I wrong here? Now I'm in no way, shape, or form a wealthy individual, but I would need a helluva lot more money than 40 bucks to punch a pregnant girl in the stomach. Don't even approach me unless you're prepared to start the bidding at $100.

VERDICT:
i wouldn't really punch a pregnant chick for $100. i'd need at least a buck-fiddy