Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Condoms are for pussies


Professor Stuart Brody from the University of the West in Scotland, has just concluded in a study "that unprotected penile-vaginal intercourse (PVI) can significantly boost men and women's mental well-being."

First of all, that I have never heard the term PVI before is a goddamn crime. Sometimes you just need an alternative to fuck, screw, bang, pound, beat, drill, or boink when you're talking about beating some box, and PVI could be a perfect fallback option.

Secondly, Professor Brody isn't exactly preaching anything we didn't know already. OF COURSE its better to get your PVI on without a slippery piece of latex stretched over you dick that makes it impossible to bust a nut and leaves your junk smelling awful. You don't wear a raincoat in the shower, and you don't wear sneakers to the beach either.

But you gotta respect a guy who does actual scientific studies to back up something the entire species of man has known for billions of years. As far as I'm concerned, Professor Brody deserves a Nobel, Pulitzer, Heisman Trophy, Purple Heart, key to the city, Oscar, and MTV Video Music Award for his incredible work.

But naturally, Professor Brody's claims have received some criticism, mostly from people who don't know how to successfully maneuver the ole' pull-out-and-aim-for-her-face move. To the haters, Profesor Brody has this to say:

Evolution is not politically correct, so of the very broad range of potential sexual behaviour, there is actually only one that is consistently associated with better physical and mental health and that is the one sexual behaviour that would be favoured by evolution. That is not accidental.
Ummmmm I have NO clue what the fuck any of that even means, but preach on Professor Brody. And remember, no means yes and yes means anal.

"the controversial conclusions are based on a study of 111 men and 99 women in Portugal who completed questionnaires about frequency of sexual activity, their rate of orgasms and their condom use."
good enough for me


kristaf85,  August 7, 2009 at 12:49 PM  

id like to know why i wasnt asked to fill out a survey...

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