"Smells like a used diaper filled with Indian food"

INDIAN DAD AVOIDS WASHING FOR 35 YEARS: REPORT

(FYI, this is Lord Shiva)

Now, I know what you're thinking. Ugh, Indian people are smelly enough, but this dude didn't shower for 35 freaking years?!! Thats's fucking gross. He probably smells like Big Foot's dick.

Well get those narrow-minded, ignorant thoughts out of your head you racist piece of shit, because Kalau Singh is the fucking man. Apparently, after having 7 daughters, he got fed up with those whiny little bitches, so he changed up his daily routine to ensure his next kid would be a boy. Apparently back in the day, "a seer once told Kalau that if he does not take a bath, he would be blessed with a male child." Not sure what this seer's credentials were, but Kalau took his advice to heart.

Kailash "Kalau" Singh replaces bathing and brushing his teeth with a "fire bath" every evening when he stands on one leg beside a bonfire, smokes marijuana and says prayers to Lord Shiva, according to the Hindustan Times.

Except for standing on 1 leg next to a fire and praying to Lord Shiva, I have the exact same evening routine. Though I also brush my teeth and shower. So really not the same routine at all except for the marijuana part, but Kalau sounds a lot more interesting than when you first started reading, doesn't he?

Kalau said, "It's just like using water to take a bath. A fire bath helps kill germs and infection in the body."

It should be noted he was probably high as shit when he said this, seeing as how the grocery store he used to own was forced to shut down when customers complained of his "unhealthy personality."

VERDICT:
on 2nd thought, when other indian peeps are complaining you smell, it must be awful. unless his son is the next slumdog millionaire, i don't think it was worth it