BREAKING NEWS!!!

RUDOLPH THE RED NOSED REINDEER IS A FEMALE

Edinburgh University professors Gerald Lincoln and David Baird say Rudolph cannot be a male because female reindeer still have antlers at Christmas. Males shed theirs before mid-December.

Prof Lincoln said: "Rudolph classically is this red-nosed reindeer who is around at Christmas. We picture him in the snow with his antlers, but if you know anything about nature you discover that things are not quite so straightforward.

Male reindeer actually cast their antlers before Christmas, so they don't have any antlers at Christmastime.

...So you can't picture Rudolph as a big red-nosed macho male because he has cast his antlers already and can't arrive on your doorstep with his antlers on, looking handsome."

Looking handsome? Give me a fucking break professor. Shit like this is why Obama won a Nobel Peace Prize before doing jackshit. Because instead of curing cancer or saving the environment or inventing X-Ray vision or something, scientists like Gerald Lincoln and David Baird are researching the gender of imaginary fucking animals that fly around the whole world in under 24 hours. The. World. Is. Retarded.

VERDICT:
any bets that the professors are still virgins?

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