Mother Russia
A cannibal who killed and ate parts of his mother had his sentence reduced by a judge who said 'he needed to eat'.
Sergey Gavrilov secured reduced time in jail after confessing: 'I did not like the meat very much. It was too fatty. But I was so hungry, I had to eat it.'
The 27-year-old was given a lenient prison sentence because the judge said he was starving and needed to eat after spending all his money on vodka and gambling machines.
The Russian man hit his mother Lyubov, 55, over the head with a brick and then strangled her with an electric cable following a row over her refusal to give him her pension money to spend on alcohol.A court heard how he put her body on the balcony of the family flat near Samara, in southern Russia, and took her allowance before going on a two day drinking and gambling binge. Returning to the flat, he soon ran out of food and started slicing meat from his mother's body. 'She was frozen, like meat in the freezer,' he told police.
He cooked soup and pasta with meat from his mother's body over a period of more than a month, he said.
The Russian criminal code dictates 15 years in jail for his crimes but the judge said he was reducing it slightly because Gavrilov - who previously served time in jail for robbery - pleaded guilty and 'he was not keen to eat the meat, he just was hungry'.
Gavrilov was jailed for 14 years and three months. Psychiatric tests found the man was 'normal' mentally and fully aware of what he was doing.
He was caught when a policeman came to his flat, suspecting him of stealing a mobile phone. The officer found the dead woman - with both her legs missing - on the balcony.
First things first. Let this be a lesson to all the mothers out there who act all high and mighty with their pension money. I know whenever my mom plays hard to get with her pension money I threaten the old brick-to-the-head manuever too, and that cash is in my hand faster than you can say Stolichnaya. So clearly the mother is partly to blame here. I mean, your kid is 27, if he wants to go on a vodka and gambling binge that's his own damn business. Those gambling machines aren't going to pay for themselves.
But as for eating her, well, I mean come on Sergey. You know when Austin Powers gets a shoe thrown at him, and he's like "Who throws a shoe? I mean honestly." Well who the hell makes soup and pasta out of their mom's legs? I mean honestly. I guess if you're going to eat your mom you might as well go all the way and marinate that shit and let it stew and simmer for a while. But I didn't even know people still ate other people anymore, let alone prepared entire meals out of them like they were working at a bizarro Olive Garden. And then to tell the whole court room his mom was too fatty? Talk about adding insult to injury. Listen Sergey, its tough to keep that extra weight off at your mother's age. You don't need to rub it in.
And where was this judge when I had to go to court for being a drunk asshole back in college? Instead of probation, a fine, and a shitload of community service (AKA playing indoor soccer with little black kids), this guy would've just said "he was drunk, trying to get laid" and handed me a key to the fucking city. Goddamn Ruski's know whats up.
But maybe my favorite part of this story was that "psychiatric tests found the man was 'normal' mentally and fully aware of what he was doing." Ummm doesn't being aware that you're cooking your own mom automatically make you NOT normal? I'm pretty sure that on the first day of psychiatry school, they take attendance, hand out the syllabus, review the bathroom and gum policies, and then go right into Chapter 1, which says that if a person eats another person, than they are fucking crazy. Class dismissed, hope you had a good first day.
VERDICT:
if there's a lesson to take away from all of this, its obviously don't steal mobile phones
