Oompa loompa doompadee doo

MAN FALLS TO DEATH INTO VAT OF CHOCOLATE



Some dude at a chocolate processing plant was hit with a mixing blade and fell into a vat of chocolate, where he died from an overdose of deliciousness. His name has not been released yet, but early reports confirm that he was NOT a fat kid named Augustus Gloop, and at this time the Oompa Loompas are not considered suspects.

In other news, a young woman at a nearby farm turned completely blue, expanded like a balloon, and then exploded when she ate a poisonous blueberry.

VERDICT:
does anyone else realize that all the kids except charlie in willy wonka die horribly painful and violent deaths??? kind of fucked up when you look back