COPS: WOMAN FRIED, ATE GOLDFISH AMID FIGHT WITH EX
How the fuck is this even news? OK, so she fried the goldfish, which is either really fucking weird or really fucking delicious, but I mean, is there a less respected animal on the entire planet than the pet goldfish? Who the shit cares? They cost like 3 cents to buy, swim in a tiny bowl of their own poop all day, and can be won as a consolation prize at a fucking carnival. Not to mention pet goldfish have an average life expectancy of what, 4 days? Though I should say my sister once had the same goldfish for over 3 years, and to this day it is the most incredible feat I have ever witnessed. How that little guy went that much time without going belly up and flushed down a toilet defies all goldfish odds. He was like the Magic Johnson of goldfish.
VERDICT:
sure eating your ex's pet goldfish is totally fucking retarded, but also possibly the worst revenge imaginable. you gotta hit him where it hurts honey, not fry his pets that were going to die in 12 hours anyway
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