Harmonica blues

B.A. MAN CHARGED IN REPORTED HARMONICA ATTACK

According to Decai Liu’s arrest report, his roommate was in the bathroom getting ready for work when Liu burst in and started beating him with the instrument.

Liu, 52, was charged Thursday with assault with a dangerous weapon in the attack last Saturday in the 4500 block of West Norman Street in Broken Arrow, court records show.

.... Liu’s roommate told police that “I don’t know what his problem was,” the report indicates.

First of all, since when does a fucking harmonica qualify as a dangerous weapon? Have you ever seen ANYBODY playing a harmonica and thought, "Oh shit, this guy and his harmonica look like trouble." No fucking way. The harmonica is probably the 3rd pussiest instrument to play after the accordion and the harp, and both could do more damage than a little harmonica. Unless your name is John Popper. Because that guy could make a harmonica fucking ROCK.

Secondly, how does the roommate say he had no idea what Liu's problem was? Your roommate beat you up with a fucking harmonica dude!! You must have not refilled the Brita or left your poop in the toilet or done something to deserve it. Because I refuse to believe we live in a society where unprovoked harmonica attacks can happen to everyday people like you and me. That's not the America I signed up for.

VERDICT:
this raises the age-old question of who is nerdier: the guy who beats someone up with a harmonica? or the nerd who gets his ass beat with a harmonica? its like the chicken or the egg of the new millennium