Suck me, beautiful

CAUGHT IN A VACUUM: JUDGE TO SENTENCE SWAN CREEK TOWNSHIP MAN IN CAR WASH SEX CASE

I am literally speechless after this story. Some dude got caught with his dick in a vacuum (Jason L. Savage to be specific). What the hell are you to supposed to say when someone catches you doing that? You were cleaning your pubes and accidentally sucked up your dong?

I hope no vacuums read that article and want to seek vengeance for their violated comrade, because it lists the guy's full name AND home address. That could get ugly. Or feel really good. Can't really decide.

VERDICT:
how you get caught with your dick in a vacuum at a public car wash is just beyond me. you better be 110% sure the place is closed or at least empty