Bambi is jealous

B.C. WOMAN FIGHTS TO KEEP DEER IN HOME

Janet Schwartz has been living in Vancouver with a pet deer in her home for the past 5 years, and now the government is trying to evict it because, well....do you really need a freaking because? She LIVES WITH A DEER for fuck sake! Schwartz claims she rescued the deer, Bimbo, from its dead mother 5 years ago and took it in, and has been raising it ever since.

Since then, Bimbo has slept on a bed in Schwartz's home and eaten at her table, Schwartz said.

"She eats all the same food I eat. She'll eat anything, bananas, apples, potatoes, cookies, candy, pop. You name it, she'll eat it," said Schwartz.

"She'll give you kisses and she loves to dance to Elvis Presley. It's her favourite music," said Schwartz.

"And she'll get up on her hind legs to hug me," she added.

Now, I can believe that Bimbo likes to sleep in a bed and eat candy and dance to Elvis. Deer or no deer, beds are comfortable, candy is delicious, and Elvis is the fucking King for goodness sake. But I never in a million years will believe Bimbo the deer stands up and hugs and kisses Janet Schwartz. I know its not the best picture, but Janet Schwartz looks like an ugly, ugly woman, and yes I meant to write 2 ugly's because she is that gross looking. No deer with such great taste in music and snacks would have such poor taste in women, and that's just a fact.

VERDICT:
i can't wait for bimbo to pull a travis the chimp and rip janet's face off when she says no more candy before bedtime. only a matter of time