Sunday, April 19, 2009

Christmas in April

The other day I posted this link to the anti-boner. Well, this video is the anti anti-boner. Its a trailer for Jessica Biel's new movie Powder Blue, where she plays a stripper. Yep, you read that right. Jessica Biel learning how to strip and dance around in fuckme pants. Between this and porn star Sasha Grey in a legit movie, I like the direction Hollywood is headed.



VERDICT:
i think i speak for everyone when i say gi-gg-ity

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Retard of the day

I think there's a wet t-shirt joke here somewhere, but all I can think about is 4/20 tomorrow, so excuse me if I'm a bit distracted.

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Friday, April 3, 2009

Webcam Friday: The Final Chapter

It is a bittersweet moment here on Webcam Friday. For starters, this will be the last Webcam Friday....ever. I know, I know. You think your Friday's just won't be the same without a regularly scheduled 3-4 minute video of some fucktard singing and flopping around to some queer song.

But you are wrong. Because this man who's videos you are about to see, is the be all end all of musical webcam sensations. I refuse to believe I can find anybody or anything better than this guy on a weekly basis, so I am announcing the retirement of Webcam Friday while we are still at the top of our game. Think of this like when Michael Jordan retired early, but I promise Webcam Friday won't make a pathetic return bid with Washington and miss a dunk in his last All-Star game.

It is my honor to introduce to you Mr. Gerry Phillips, who claims to have been honing his art for the last 39 years, and is something you need to see to believe (and if you can see it stoned, even better).

My biggest problem with this was picking which video to select, since Gerry has over 100 videos of his musical stylings. Seriously, this was such a tough decision. Its like when I first discovered youporn, and my brain almost exploded because I had an infinite amount of material to work with and didn't know where to start. I imagine this is the same overwhelming feeling that Dewey Decimal felt before creating his library system. With that said, here are 2 videos. Some Journey to appease the masses, and some Stevie Wonder because, well, I freaking love that song.




VERDICT:
if gerry can get millions of people to view his videos, and do his thang on jimmy kimmel live, well, if you still think the world isn't retarded after that, i don't know what to tell you

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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Today's sign of the apocalypse

fresh-cutz

At 4:30 today, a show called Fresh Cutz with LBJ aired on NBA TV. Comcast's description of this show was, "Following LeBron James as he gets a haircut." And yes, that was Cutz with a Z.

VERDICT:
as a friend of mine who was watching said, "too much basketball, not enough hair cutting"

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Perfect gift for my old roommate

subtle-buttDo you know someone who rips stinky farts on the reg? Here is the perfect gift for them, and its only $9.95 for a 5-pack. If you've ever practically tasted a fart because it smelled so bad, you know this is a bargain.

For the record, I know the video is 1:31, and personally my attention span for a youtube video is only about a minute, but just watch it until the end when the bald guy sharts himself. Sharts hard. I just feel like this is the kind of thing where you'll want to know what people are talking about when it comes up. And it WILL come up.



VERDICT:
either so fucking retarded or absolute genius. i have no idea

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